“I couldn’t bare it if I was sent home to my parents secure home in the suburbs and my record deal and my celebrity parties & TV shows.”

Just one of us

“So it turns out having no personality, a terrible vocal tone and an annoying singing face doesn’t go over with the voting public.”

Flat

“What the fuck do you mean Will Smith had this hairstyle first?!”

Stylish

Play It Again Sam (1972)

Casablanca lead helps anguished neurotic commit adultery.

3/5

Grindhouse: Planet Terror (2007)

Director of tacky B-movies directs tacky B-movie whilst winking.

2/5

Cloverfield (2008)

Unhappy abomination interupts episode of One Tree Hill and causes motion sickness.

3/5

Annie Hall (1977)

Bespectacled gagster relishes in breaking all known rules of cinema.

5/5

“I’m not entirely caucasian, therefore it’s considered ‘current’ for me to provide generic R&B warbling and neck spasms. According to Simon.”

Cutting edge

“Time to kick this party up a notch, motherfuckers!”

Energy