“You can’t blame a honey for getting knocked up so young with pins like these.”

A worthy sperm receptacle

“Keith Richards and John Lennon were never out of the tanning salon.”

This PR has a quiet dignity about it

Blow (2001)

Edward Scissorhands has bad hair day for life as unsubtle Goodfellas tribute colides with Hispanic aviation.

3/5

CV Tip #83

Some employers will want to hear from you if you were once a self-employed taxi driver in Colombia – particularly those that require their staff to be adept at using semi-automatic weaponry.

CV Tip #10

Stating that you couldn’t complete a University qualification due to ‘civil war’ will show a potential employer that you are a well-travelled man of the world.

CV Tip #101

It’s bad enough to title the subject of a covering email ‘looking for job’ but even more concerning if you spell the fucking word ‘job’ as ‘jon’.