Archive | 9:17 pm

Dead Presidents (1995)

18 Dec

African American tribute to Goodfellas makes non-black viewers feel guilt and inserts graphic ‘Nam sub plot.

2/5


“Looking at our clothes and bank balances, you’d be forgiven for thinking we were the archetypal John Hughes middle American parent types. We actually created a deadbeat painter that won a TV show in Britain.”

18 Dec

 

Only now do they look Matt in the eye

“Ok ok ok… When I say ‘brothers’, I really mean ‘PR tools’.”

18 Dec

Equal ops gone wrong

Deconstructing Harry (1997)

18 Dec

Chronic sexer visits hell amidst purposefully slapdash editing designed to confuse non film scholars.

3/5

Inside (À l’intérieur) (2007)

18 Dec

Amateur French midwife causes domestic bloodbath.

3/5


Zelig (1983 dir. Woody Allen)

18 Dec

Forest Gump blueprint features abomination instead of dimwit, and includes Billie Jean-inspired sub plot.

3/5

Starman (1984 dir. John Carpenter)

18 Dec

Lebowski-themed E.T. sings acapella and enjoys all-American cuisine but regrets not asking for directions on road trip.

2/5

How To Train Your Dragon (2010)

18 Dec

Animation studio gets history purposefully wrong in the name of merchandise.

3/5

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