Match Point (2005)

Polite London types enjoy multiple fuckfests in ridiculously expensive properties and a field.

2/5

Big Trouble In Little China (1986 dir. John Carpenter)

Future Sex And The City dick addict gets manhandled by knock-off Chewbacca after recruiting totally pointless supporting cast member.

3/5

Trainspotting (1996)

Hairless squatters train viewers in proper drug-taking etiquette whilst dissecting shit music.

4/5

Whatever Works (2009)

Dream Jew pairing sees auteur break fourth wall to appease film scholar types in near unwatchable self parody.

1/5

Harry Brown (2009)

British version of  Gran Torino replaces Hmong street toughs with overrated fat-faced pop singer.

2/5

A Room For Romeo Brass (1999 dir. Shane Meadows)

Eccentric child groomer takes beating from iconic barrow boy.

3/5