By Slick Nick
Tyneside superstar Cheryl Cole/Tweedy is the firm favourite to win all games of Wii Tennis at a forthcoming new year’s eve house party, set to take place at a secret location in Newcastle.
The mimer and shampoo seller will take on friends and family in a contest some insiders are claiming to be ‘just for a bit of a laugh, like.’
Violent Tweedy shot to fame in 2003 after assaulting a nightclub toilet attendant in a racially-motivated attack. She then married a black man a few years later to prove that she wasn’t a massive racist afterall.
Tweedy said: ‘Wii Sports proved a challenge initially but when I set me mind to something, I always beat it, like.’
‘I have thoroughly enjoyed practicing for this match, and will thoroughly enjoy the match itself.’
‘Do you want to buy some shampoo or other hair stuff?’
Bookies have slashed odds in half for a Cole victory despite some industry experts predicting an upset win from an Uncle, whose carer has let him play the Wii every day since its release in 2006.
He said: ‘I’ll do me best against Cheryl this week and hopefully I’ll at least get a sniff of her perfume when we’re playing together, like.’
‘There is one Christmas game she’ll never beat me at though – ‘hide the gin bottle from mam’ we call it.’
Cheryl Cole will probably have a book or CD or something else out in a few weeks that isn’t worth talking about.