Matt Cardle ‘satisfied’ with Syco snack vending machines

27 Feb

By Slick Nick

Matt Cardle, winner of the 2010 series of X Factor, has gone on record to confirm his views that the vending machines at Syco records are more than adequate for his needs.

The tired cockney, 38, pictured below in talks with his chiropractor, has been working at the London premises since winning the contest’s top prize last year: a ten-record deal worth reportedly £1.4 billion.

During the day, Cardle, who can play an impressive three chords on electric guitar, has been seen conducting a regular late morning ritual of buying a packet of Walkers cheese & onion crisps and a can of regular Fanta. On occasions, he has also purchased Mars bars and Lucozade in the afternoons, presumably to get him through dance rehearsals.

He said: ‘The machines have everything a painter & decorator could hope for. Just solid, mass-produced high calorie foods that are likely the main cause of Britain’s obesity epidemic.’

‘If there was one thing that’s missing though, it would be some of that Polish meat in jars that I’ve seen in Sainsbury’s. I’d like to try that some time.’

‘I’ll bet you thought I was going to say jellied eels, right? Fuck you.’

The vending machines are replenished three times a week by a man in his late fifties.

2 Responses to “Matt Cardle ‘satisfied’ with Syco snack vending machines”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Matt Cardle 'satisfied' with Syco snack vending machines « Pop … - March 2, 2011

    [...] Matt Cardle 'satisfied' with Syco snack vending machines « Pop … Related Posts:Matt Cardle wins The X Factor. | Frost Magazine X FACTOR WINNER MATT CARDLE 'WHEN WE [...]

  2. Matt Cardle 'satisfied' with Syco snack vending machines « Pop … - March 2, 2011

    [...] Read more from the original source:  Matt Cardle 'satisfied' with Syco snack vending machines « Pop … [...]

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: