By Slick Nick
Senior management in charity shops across the nation are rumoured to be in the process of planning for a suspected Vanilla Ice comeback album. The crisis talks commenced on Monday 28th February.
The Eminem blueprint, 49, was recently given the boot from godawful ITV show Dancing on Ice after many years out of the spotlight. It is thought that Mr Ice will use his newfound fame to leverage a one album deal from a record label with extremely low standards. Pictured below in his 70s heyday, he is thought by insiders to be extremely keen to enjoy a regular income stream again, rather than relying on occasional gardening jobs in the Beverly Hills area.
Richard Wilkes, 50, Senior Vice President of Shelf Planning at the Barnardos group, has been working around the clock with a team of advisors to anticipate when the release of this album may be in order to make sure adequate space is available in stores for future donations.
He said: ‘When a sad old pop star is dusted off for a current reality TV show, it is always a concern and can put a great deal of pressure on our staff if a new album does get released. They will usually be crap novelty gifts that cannot even be re-sold on eBay, so people use charity shops to offload them by the ton.’
‘We’re not getting caught out again like we were with the last Peter Andre release. We’ll be moving the Russell Brand books, Dr Who videos, puzzles and Joe McElderry singles well in advance of any Vanilla Ice recording contract being signed.’
Vanilla Ice’s album will likely be released on compact disc and be availabile from all participating Little Chef restaurants