JOB AD: Head of Corleone Family

7 Jun

Chief Executive – Global Export Company – Temp – $negotiable + Car + Cat


Have you ever wanted to be fully accountable for a global P&L worth circa $500 million? Due to a near fatal shooting, we now have an interim requirement (6-24 mnths) for an experienced crime manager to control the strategic and operational projects of the Corleone Family. Based in New York and reporting in to absolutely no one, you will head up all business units specialising in extortion, gambling, racketeering, loan-sharking, bribery, murder and the exporting of kitchen-based commodities (knowledge of the olive oil market particularly desirable).

This is a very hands-off role and candidates should feel comfortable deligating significant amounts of work to management working within an organisational structure built around the Roman army. Knowledge of opening up new markets for horizontal and verticle revenue streams, for example in Nevada, will be looked upon with considerable favour.

Don Vito Corleone, CEO, addresses shareholders in 2009

The Corleone Family is an organisation that prides itself on internal promotions, particularly among blood relatives, so a critical component of this role will be in talent management and succession planning, both strategically and operationally.

The post of Corleone Family CEO is one of the most rewarding and challenging in the whole of organised crime, and requires a strong influencer of senior stakeholders eg. statesmen, judges, film producers etc. as well as a high degree of resiliance (candidates should be comfortable with at least one attempt on their lives during the duration of this FTC).

Italian-American elder preferred, though individuals with relevant experience will still be considered.

* PLEASE NOTE – THE SUCCESSFUL APPLICANT WILL BE REQUIRED TO PASS A PRE-EMPLOYMENT MEDICAL ASSESSMENT; ABSOLUTELY NO RECREATIONAL DRUG USERS TO APPLY. *

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Candidates should send a current CV and letter of interest to Tom O’Hagen (GermanIrish863@lycos.com), who will conduct initial telephone screenings at the end of July.

Agree? Disagree? Discuss.

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