Insomnia (2002 dir. Christopher Nolan)

Like a more pleasant Seven, minus bricks.

3/5

Hook (1991 dir. Steven Spielberg)

Hairy solicitor remembers pre-masturbation days with the help of badly brought up youths.

2/5

One Hour Photo (2002 dir. Mark Romanek)

Hairy dispenser of funny voices gets serious over holiday snaps.

3/5

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987 dir. Barry Levinson)

Like One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest collided with Capital FM and replaced baseball ban with annoying catchphrase.

3/5

Mrs Doubtfire (1993 dir. Chris Columbus)

Instead of giving flat a tidy up, dispenser of broad comedy takes to cross-dressing in order to see bowl-cut spawn.

2/5

Toys (1992 dir. Barry Levinson)

Well-nosed emitter of broad comedy staunchly opposes production of vaguely fun play things in surreal manufacturing plant.

2/5

Jack (1996 dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

All-American schmaltz undermines curious tale of manchild nearly getting his dick wet by chum’s MILF.

2/5

Good Will Hunting (1997 dir. Gus Van Sant)

Violent academic neglects health & safety legislation in early days of school caretaking career.

4/5