Tag Archives: Thriller

Phone Booth (2002 dir. Joel Schumacher)

25 Sep

Lengthy conversation with sureshot Jack Bauer sees woefully unlikable PR dick spoil business operations for local stripper/hooker types.

3/5

Boxcar Bertha (1972 dir. Martin Scorcese)

10 Sep

Like Bonnie & Clyde with shotgun blasts to the abdomen and an improvised crucifiction.

3/5

Cape Fear (1991 dir. Martin Scorcese)

6 Sep

Dressed like a Beach Boy, cigar/bodybuilding/Christ enthusiast terrorises extremely dull Republican family under colourful skies.

3/5

Cape Fear (1962 dir. J. Lee Thompson)

4 Sep

Hugely dramatic opening score gives way to disappointment.

3/5

Wild At Heart (1990 dir. David Lynch)

25 Aug

Wackjob auteur brings The Wizard Of Oz up to date with added sexual assault, gratuitous murders and karaoke.

3/5

Black Swan (2010 dir. Darren Aronofsky)

14 Aug

Unhealthy-looking dancer is moved literally to goosebumps at the thought of mild sexual assault at the hands of archetypal ballet management type.

4/5

Marnie (1964 dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

12 Aug

Mother’s whoring and act of manslaughter causes mental health problems in later years for James Bond fuck target/wife.

3/5

The Gingerbread Man (1998 dir. Robert Altman)

4 Aug

Old timer gets shot in the throat by thesp after failing to wear appropriate footwear for pottering about in forest.

3/5

Jade (1995 dir. William Friedkin))

29 Jul

Kinky homemade fuck video leads to the gunning down of senior Aliens marine.

2/5

The Bird With The Crystal Plummage (1970 dir. Dario Argento)

9 Jul

Rare birdsong leads to falsely-accused man’s head contents being spilled on Italian pavement.

3/5

Dial M For Murder (1954 dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

15 May

Frightfully well-spoken British gents plot to have slut garrotted, before other gents nearly have her hung from neck until death.

4/5

Edge Of Darkness (2010 dir. Martin Campbell)

27 Apr

After taking daughter’s graphic shotgunning surprisingly well, Aussie Irish American bonds with infamous barrow boy over smoking.

2/5

Splice (2009 dir. Vincenzo Natali)

22 Apr

Fuelled by average music and empty calories, heavily-nostrilled scientist creates bum-headed abomination for medical advancement and ten minutes of full intercourse.

2/5

The Fourth Man (1983 dir. Paul Verhoeven)

20 Apr

Dutch nose spoils moment of ejaculation by speaking of Biblical figures before experiencing world’s fastest haircut and mental breakdown.

3/5

Jaws (1975)

1 Mar

Arsehole fisherman/war veteran makes life hell for hairy academic at sea in Hollywood-changing immigration allegory.

4/5

Blue City (1986)

4 Feb

Bratpacker stretches audience sympathies to breaking point after committing ABH, arson, common assault, use of an unlicensed firearm in public, vandalism, theft, breaking & entering and murder in the space of eighty minutes.

1/5

Basic Instinct (1992 dir. Paul Verhoeven)

30 Oct

Slutty scribe makes Seinfeld postman uncomfortable and then mates.

2/5

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