Tag Archives: Thriller

Phone Booth (2002 dir. Joel Schumacher)

25 Sep

Lengthy conversation with sureshot Jack Bauer sees woefully unlikable PR dick spoil business operations for local stripper/hooker types.


Boxcar Bertha (1972 dir. Martin Scorcese)

10 Sep

Like Bonnie & Clyde with shotgun blasts to the abdomen and an improvised crucifiction.


Cape Fear (1991 dir. Martin Scorcese)

6 Sep

Dressed like a Beach Boy, cigar/bodybuilding/Christ enthusiast terrorises extremely dull Republican family under colourful skies.


Cape Fear (1962 dir. J. Lee Thompson)

4 Sep

Hugely dramatic opening score gives way to disappointment.


Wild At Heart (1990 dir. David Lynch)

25 Aug

Wackjob auteur brings The Wizard Of Oz up to date with added sexual assault, gratuitous murders and karaoke.


Black Swan (2010 dir. Darren Aronofsky)

14 Aug

Unhealthy-looking dancer is moved literally to goosebumps at the thought of mild sexual assault at the hands of archetypal ballet management type.


Marnie (1964 dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

12 Aug

Mother’s whoring and act of manslaughter causes mental health problems in later years for James Bond fuck target/wife.


The Gingerbread Man (1998 dir. Robert Altman)

4 Aug

Old timer gets shot in the throat by thesp after failing to wear appropriate footwear for pottering about in forest.


Jade (1995 dir. William Friedkin))

29 Jul

Kinky homemade fuck video leads to the gunning down of senior Aliens marine.


The Bird With The Crystal Plummage (1970 dir. Dario Argento)

9 Jul

Rare birdsong leads to falsely-accused man’s head contents being spilled on Italian pavement.


Dial M For Murder (1954 dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

15 May

Frightfully well-spoken British gents plot to have slut garrotted, before other gents nearly have her hung from neck until death.


Edge Of Darkness (2010 dir. Martin Campbell)

27 Apr

After taking daughter’s graphic shotgunning surprisingly well, Aussie Irish American bonds with infamous barrow boy over smoking.


Splice (2009 dir. Vincenzo Natali)

22 Apr

Fuelled by average music and empty calories, heavily-nostrilled scientist creates bum-headed abomination for medical advancement and ten minutes of full intercourse.


The Fourth Man (1983 dir. Paul Verhoeven)

20 Apr

Dutch nose spoils moment of ejaculation by speaking of Biblical figures before experiencing world’s fastest haircut and mental breakdown.


Jaws (1975)

1 Mar

Arsehole fisherman/war veteran makes life hell for hairy academic at sea in Hollywood-changing immigration allegory.


Blue City (1986)

4 Feb

Bratpacker stretches audience sympathies to breaking point after committing ABH, arson, common assault, use of an unlicensed firearm in public, vandalism, theft, breaking & entering and murder in the space of eighty minutes.


Basic Instinct (1992 dir. Paul Verhoeven)

30 Oct

Slutty scribe makes Seinfeld postman uncomfortable and then mates.


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