Archive | 9:29 pm

Alien 3 (1992 dir. David Fincher)

29 Oct

Good things from ‘Aliens’ removed as bald Brits become dogmeat.

2/5

The Conversation (1974)

29 Oct

Man in trenchcoat snoops before conducting some ill-advised home improvement.

3/5

The Lion King (1994)

29 Oct

Children encouraged to buy lunchboxes through song and colour.

4/5

Million Dollar Baby (2004)

29 Oct

Clumsy boxer dies at the hands of Dirty Harry.

4/5

The Deer Hunter (1978)

29 Oct

Vietnam war ruins weekends for a town that makes steel.

4/5

There Will Be Blood (2007)

29 Oct

Digging for oil leads to bowling tragedy.

5/5

Snatch (2000)

29 Oct

Assorted cockneys search for the same jewel.

3/5

No Country For Old Men (2007)

29 Oct

Spaniard chases aged Goonie whilst both perform self-surgery in motel rooms.

4/5

Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1992)

29 Oct

Delinquient’s robot step-father uses non-fatal methods to wound policemen.

4/5

Goodfellas (1990)

29 Oct

Three decades of cookery and killing in the mafia.

5/5

Back To The Future (1985 dir. Robert Zemeckis)

29 Oct

A teenager with long-forgotten wheels avoids catastrophic incest in the 50s.

5/5

The Goonies (1985)

29 Oct

All-American latch-key kids go pot-holing with the mob.

3/5

Desperado (1995)

29 Oct

Hispanic sex and death.

2/5

War Of The Worlds (2005)

29 Oct

Terrible father shows the US Army how to crush a well planned alien invasion.

4/5

Forrest Gump (1994)

29 Oct

Idiot interrupts commuters with effects-heavy tales.

3/5

The Usual Suspects (1995)

29 Oct

Cripple out-smarts a detective using a noticeboard.

4/5

The Dark Knight (2008)

29 Oct

Lunatic in make-up recruits and trains a highly effective workforce.

5/5

Gran Torino (2008)

29 Oct

Pensioner growls at, then dines with, immigrants.

4/5

The Breakfast Club (1985)

29 Oct

Voice of Hot Rod teases future girlfriend.

5/5

CV Tip #9

29 Oct

‘I’m a people person’… never say this during an interview. It means nothing.

CV Tip #2

29 Oct

Wanting to ‘climb the career ladder’ is not going to be your best asset to a company. Never say otherwise in a fucking interview.

CV Tip #59

29 Oct

When asked ‘tell me about yourself’ in an interview, never begin by fucking re-stating your name, as that detail is clear from the CV in front of the interviewer, the interview schedule in front of the interviewer and also the calender in front of the interviewer.

CV Tip #78

29 Oct

In an interview, never frequently use the word ‘obviously’. Nothing is actually obvious unless the interviewer can somehow climb into your fucking psyche and experience your deepest thoughts and memories… It’s also relatively irritating.

CV Tip #24

29 Oct

In an interview, avoid mumbling into your hands for the whole conversation and looking like you might fall asleep at any moment. Not turning up 25 fucking minutes late is also preferrable.

CV Tip #80

29 Oct

Never put ‘wining and dining’ as an interest at the end of your CV. Ever. Unless of course you’re keen to join an organisation of insufferable dicks.

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