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The Wild One (1953 dir. László Benedek)

21 Dec

Bikers terrorise smalltown types with outlandish headwear.

4/5

IMDB

The African Queen (1951 dir. John Huston)

4 Nov

Well-toothed stars bond over naval warfare.

4/5

IMDB

The Searchers (1956 dir. John Ford)

28 Sep

Big racist plays himself in Lord of The Rings with dust.

5/5

IMDB

Seven Samurai (1954 dir. Akira Kurosawa)

7 Sep

Mass slaughter in the name of carbohydrates.

5/5

IMDB

The Wasp Woman (1959 dir. Roger Corman)

6 Aug

In order to increase fuckability and company revenue, executive removes glasses.

2/5

IMDB

Le Déjeuner Sur L’herbe (1959 dir. Jean Renoir)

8 Apr

The world’s greatest scientist nearly loses his mind over peasant girl’s fuckhole.

3/5

IMDB

East of Eden (1955 dir. Elia Kazan)

8 Mar

A family implodes over vegetables and the Bible in oldern days.

4/5

IMDB

The Big Heat (1953 dir. Fritz Lang)

4 Mar

In dystopian post-war America, non-smilers struggle to reach intended people first time on the phone.

4/5

IMDB

Queen Of Outer Space (1958 dir. Edward Bernds)

27 Sep

Astronauts overjoyed at having to do no washing up or hoovering for an entire year after crashing on girl-infested planet.

1/5

Diary of a Country Priest (1951 dir. Robert Bresson)

9 Sep

Sozzled clergyman winds up most of the supporting cast.

3/5

The Blob (1958 dir. Irvin S. Yeaworth Jr.)

11 Jun

Growing entity consumes then destroys American town in General Motors allegory.

2/5

A Streetcar Named Desire (1951 dir. Elia Kazan)

3 May

Irritable mechanic seduces sister-in-law without using anti-perspirant.

4/5

Pickpocket (1959 dir. Robert Bresson)

26 Apr

Beta male fails at robbery.

4/5

Rashomon (1950 dir. Akira Kurosawa)

22 Jan

Whilst laughing for no reason, four peasants disagree over plot.

4/5

Wild Strawberries (1957 dir. Ingmar Bergman)

21 Jan

Miserable old Swede breaks space time continuum whilst recounting dull life.

4/5

Teenagers From Outer Space (1959 dir. Tom Graeff)

30 Dec

Like a live-action Lillingtons record antagonising Daily Mail editors.

1/5

The Bridge On The River Kwai (1957 dir. David Lean)

13 Nov

British gent plans and executes gross act of terrorism on another British gent’s impressive civil engineering feat.

4/5

Some Like it Hot (1959 dir. Billy Wilder)

5 Nov

Vintage proof that pick-up artist fuck strategies, not ‘being yourself’, bags quality skirt.

4/5

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956 dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

5 Nov

Hitchcock music man’s London gig is spoiled by non-fatal shooting in anti-Christian thriller.

4/5

Cinderella (1950 dir. Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson & Hamilton Luske)

6 Oct

Cleaner must overcome slavery and vermin with learning difficulties to achieve royal dicking.

2/5

The Desperate Hours (1955 dir. William Wyler)

21 Sep

Bourgois Republicans invaded by Casablanca bar manager avoid serious physical abuse due to PG-rating.

3/5

Early Summer (1951 dir. Yasujiro Ozu)

20 Sep

Without the use of chairs, family elders endeavour to ensure grinning daughter receives regular intercourse before being left on the shelf.

3/5

The Trouble With Harry (1955 dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

25 Aug

Two couples bond over numerous unofficial funerals of emaculately-dressed carcass.

2/5

The Seventh Seal (1957 dir. Ingmar Bergman)

24 Aug

Serious Swedes get serious over Christ and chess.

3/5

Rebel Without A Cause (1955 dir. Nicholas Ray)

18 Aug

Virtually motiveless bullying by 50s greaser types leads to the tragic gunning down of Italian-American property of Tom & Jerry maid.

3/5

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