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Demolition Man (1993 dir. Marco Brambilla)

5 Jan

Muscleheads spoil a eutopian future with poorly realised fight scenes.

2/5

IMDB

The Pit And The Pendulum (1991 dir. Stuart Gordon)

2 Sep

To keep Christ happy, several women are brutally tortured in possible UKIP voter’s fantasy.

2/5

IMDB

Last Action Hero (1993 dir. John McTiernan)

11 May

In mocking crap action films, action auteurs make a crap action film.

2/5

IMDB

Death Warrant (1990 dir. Deran Sarafian)

8 May

Belgian face-kicker kicks faces to defend against organ donorship.

1/5

IMDB

Fortress (1992 dir. Stuart Gordon)

28 Apr

Tory social and privatisation policies realised in a future of stomach aches.

2/5

IMDB

Grifters (1990 dir. Stephen Frears)

21 Apr

Two similarly-styled sluts seek affection from an 80s heart throb.

2/5

IMDB

Space Truckers (1996 dir. Stuart Gordon)

9 Apr

80s neon and the disabled get cruelly mocked in Star Wars knock-off.

1/5

IMDB

Hoffa (1992 dir. Danny DeVito)

7 Apr

Well-nosed thesp unites Daily Mirror readers against Daily Telegraph readers.

3/5

IMDB

Bitter Moon (1992 dir. Roman Polanski)

17 Mar

The tragic tale of a man with bad teeth unable to bone his young lover.

3/5

IMDB

The Hurricane (1999 dir. Norman Jewison)

10 Mar

Outclassed supporting cast prove slugger-turned-scribbler’s innocence using post-it-note montages.

3/5

IMDB

Celtic Pride (1996 dir. Tom DeCerchio)

6 Mar

A week in the life of the most intelligent sports fans committed to celluloid.

2/5

IMDB

Another Stakeout (1993 dir. John Badham)

25 Feb

The longterm friendship between two cops nearly implodes over moustache genocide and lack of sleep.

2/5

IMDB

Death Becomes Her (1992 dir. Robert Zemeckis)

15 Feb

Two tarts go to great lenghts to maintain fuckability as Night of The Living Dead collides with Max Factor.

2/5

IMDB

Coneheads (1993 dir. Steve Barron)

13 Feb

Fanged Ghostbuster pokes fun at Republican immigration political ideology.

2/5

IMDB

Braindead (1992 dir. Peter Jackson)

7 Feb

Ethnic retail assistant realises mummy’s boy is man of her dreams after he reduces party guests to pulped trifle.

3/5

IMDB

Point Break (1991 dir. Kathryn Bigelow)

5 Feb

Young cop with bad knees has loyalty split between obnoxious surfers and obnoxious lawmen.

3/5

IMDB

My Own Private Idaho (1991 dir. Gus Van Sant)

2 Feb

Dead heart throb sells arse and dick, then falls asleep, in several cities.

2/5

IMDB

Regarding Henry (1991 dir. Mike Nichols)

27 Jan

Like the origin story of the world’s worst superhero – RITZ CRACKERS MAN.

2/5

IMDB

Lansky (1999 dir. John McNaughton)

20 Jan

The changing of ages and actors of characters every ten minutes makes narrative difficult to follow.

2/5

IMDB

The Last Days Of Frankie The Fly (1996 dir. Peter Markle)

19 Jan

Mr Blonde attempts to expand fuck video business.

2/5

IMDB

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992 dir. Brian Henson)

26 Dec

Frog receives promotion without needing formal performance review.

2/5

IMDB

Bad Boys (1995 dir. Michael Bay)

21 Dec

Two stereotypes with near enough the exact same personality swap lives to solve a crime.

2/5

IMDB

Heat (1995 dir. Michael Mann)

19 Dec

Shouty thesp ensures quiet thesp is adequately caffeinated for ultra violent bank robbery.

4/5

IMDB

The Last Of The Mohicans (1992 dir. Michael Mann)

16 Dec

Thesp keeps lockes well conditioned despite excessive jogging and stabbing in forests.

3/5

IMDB

Amos & Andrew (1993 dir. E. Max Frye)

8 Dec

Racism leads to slapstick.

2/5

amos

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