Tag Archives: 1984

Runaway (1984 dir. Michael Crichton)

30 Sep

Infamous ‘tache has drawn out battles with the worst-looking robots in film history.

2/5

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Indiana Jones And The Temple of Doom (1984 dir. Steven Spielberg)

3 Dec

By linking child slave labour to devout worship in the east, veteran Jew antagonises fans of non-Abrahamic religions.

4/5

Beverly Hills Cop (1984 dir. Martin Brest)

30 Nov

Streetwise pottymouth plays the race card to secure hotel room.

3/5

Romancing The Stone (1984 dir. Robert Zemeckis)

5 Nov

Cut-price Spielberg presents cut-price Indiana Jones in Hispanic shitholes.

2/5

Footloose (1984 dir. Herbert Ross)

11 Oct

Like a midwest There Will Be Blood, with atheist car cleaner doing battle with Christ over hip-wiggling instead of crude oil.

2/5

The Cotton Club (1984 dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

19 Aug

Alongside watching extremely annoying tapdancing/jazz shows, dapper Herman Munster gets in with the wrong crowd.

2/5

Revenge Of The Nerds (1984 dir. Jeff Kanew)

2 Aug

Whilst battling sadistic sportsmen, an ethnically diverse group of academics unknowingly creates prototype of Big Brother TV show.

2/5

Broadway Danny Rose (1984 dir. Woody Allen)

19 Apr

Booking agent escapes from mobsters using comedy.

2/5

The Neverending Story (1984)

23 Feb

Despite promising the contrary, bullied bowl-cut fails to return to owner harrowing fairytale book featuring poorly dubbed abominations.

2/5

Amadeus (1984)

18 Feb

Two effeminate men try to out-do one another in the production of annoying music to appease Ferris Bueller nemesis.

5/5

Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter (1984)

4 Jan

George McFly bags desirable mate despite rotten dance moves amidst caucasian genocide.

3/5

Gremlins (1984)

27 Dec

Highly-evolved unclassified species instantly picks up practical theories of complex electrical circuitry as hell comes to It’s A Wonderful Life.

3/5

Starman (1984 dir. John Carpenter)

18 Dec

Lebowski-themed E.T. sings acapella and enjoys all-American cuisine but regrets not asking for directions on road trip.

2/5

The Karate Kid (1984)

15 Dec

Multi-skilled handyman, with four moves, guides Italian-American to combat victory over Aryan end-of-level boss.

3/5

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