Tag Archives: 1996

Space Truckers (1996 dir. Stuart Gordon)

9 Apr

80s neon and the disabled get cruelly mocked in Star Wars knock-off.

1/5

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Celtic Pride (1996 dir. Tom DeCerchio)

6 Mar

A week in the life of the most intelligent sports fans committed to celluloid.

2/5

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The Last Days Of Frankie The Fly (1996 dir. Peter Markle)

19 Jan

Mr Blonde attempts to expand fuck video business.

2/5

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Last Man Standing (1996 dir. Walter Hill)

17 Nov

With terrible hair piece in tow, Hollywood A-lister guns down B and C-listers in dirt town.

2/5

The Secret Agent Club (1996 dir. John Murlowski)

20 May

Like a poor man’s Goonies, with a black kid.

1/5

Kansas City (1996 dir. Robert Altman)

9 May

Reunion of sidemouth-talking wife and scrawny husband cut short by a bullet to the skull.

2/5

Bottle Rocket (1996 dir. Wes Anderson)

28 Apr

Beloved director disguises mediocrity with music.

2/5

Schizopolis (1996 dir. Steven Soderbergh)

13 Jan

Backed by effete college rock music, wanking office drone pays tribute to Godard without budget.

2/5

Mars Attacks! (1996 dir. Tim Burton)

24 Dec

Largely unnecessary ensemble cast defeat 60s aliens with hick music.

2/5

The Juror (1996 dir. Brian Gibson)

9 Nov

Like 12 Angry Men, with one tedious woman and mob stereotypes.

2/5

Sleepers (1996 dir. Barry Levinson)

7 Oct

After getting away with gun homicide, boisterous lads celebrate in style by spoiling infamous Frankie Valli pop standard with poor acapella rendition.

3/5

The Fan (1996 dir. Tony Scott)

22 Sep

Not even powerful sports knife-selling montage can increase company turnover adequately.

1/5

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Stealing Beauty (1996 dir. Bernardo Bertolucci)

31 Aug

After what seems like an eternity, orphaned scribbler finally selects her first victim for penetrative intercourse.

2/5

Jack (1996 dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

20 Jul

All-American schmaltz undermines curious tale of manchild nearly getting his dick wet by chum’s MILF.

2/5

Scream (1996)

3 Jan

Film scholar ruins party vibe by giving trailer-appeasing movie lecture to woefully unlikable small town douche bags.

4/5

Trainspotting (1996)

23 Dec

Hairless squatters train viewers in proper drug-taking etiquette whilst dissecting shit music.

4/5

The People Vs. Larry Flynt (1996)

22 Dec

After surviving shootery, business leader does convincing James Stewart impression as Citizen Kane collides with wank fodder.

3/5

Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead (1995)

1 Dec

Doc Brown regrets scrimping on security for new adult entertainment venture.

2/5


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