Tag Archives: 2004

Collateral (2004 dir. Michael Mann)

11 Oct

Taxi Driver, minus pimp genocide, goes all Rear Window in act three.

4/5

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Closer (2004 dir. Mike Nichols)

3 Jul

Two guys and two girls fall instantly in love and all fuck each other.

3/5

Sideways (2004 dir. Alexander Payne)

30 Jun

Fuck addict and scribbler prove that nice guys really do finish last.

3/5

Bullet Boy (2004 dir. Saul Dibb)

10 Apr

An innocent boy avoids the path to becoming a Daily Mail headline.

2/5

Envy (2004 dir. Barry Levinson)

9 Mar

Magical shit spray changes the lives of two Jews and a hasbeen.

2/5

Napoleon Dynamite (2004 dir. Jared Hess)

4 Dec

Overshadowed by retro soundtrack, poorly-dressed asperger’s sufferer persists with promoting cassette-playing paraphernalia.

2/5

Melinder And Melinder (2004 dir. Woody Allen)

26 Oct

Alongside debuting mixed-race relationships, Jewish auteur has dinner table types invent entire narrative over main course.

3/5

Troy (2004 dir. Wolfgang Petersen)

4 Oct

The fuckhole of one lady brings about the death of thousands of male models at the beach.

3/5

9 Songs (2004 dir. Michael Winterbottom)

2 Oct

Young couple disperse unsimulated fuck sessions with several concerts of mediocre retro rockers in dangerous south London area.

2/5

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004 dir. Michael Moore)

29 Sep

Completely impartial and unbiased politics/economics lesson sees flesh pile antagonise golfer-cum-President.

4/5

Before Sunset (2004 dir. Richard Linklater)

18 Aug

Nine years after a night of penetrative sex, well-mannered man and woman have a catch-up on reasonably-priced boat ride.

3/5

Crash (2004 dir. Paul Haggis)

6 Aug

Ethnic stereotypes object to other ethnic stereotypes in stereotypical American city.

3/5

Alexander (2004 dir. Oliver Stone)

22 May

Length of protagonist’s flowing locks at various times aids understanding of confusing, non-linear narrative.

3/5

Supersize Me (2004 dir. Morgan Spurlock)

18 Apr

Groundbreaking documentary sees greedyguts reveal to an unsuspecting world that eating junk food relentlessly is bad for your health.

3/5

The Terminal (2004)

4 Apr

Stranded fuckwit resolves social problems in exchange for heavily-promoted junk food, whilst squatting at airport.

3/5

Meet The Fockers (2004)

17 Jan

Meet The Parents remade with additional animals and pensioners.

3/5

The Kingdom (2007)

15 Jan

Compelling history lesson gives way to fun Call Of Duty inspired death-a-thon.

3/5

Torque (2004)

7 Jan

Aided by butt rock and blue-screen work, evil rap legend seeks to destroy non African Americans and primary colours.

1/5

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)

30 Dec

College rock subject matter snuggles gently with Total Recall‘s exact opposite.

4/5

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