Tag Archives: 2013

This is The End (2013 dir. Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg)

7 Jan

Mildly amusing Jews interupt each other.

3/5

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Trance (2013 dir. Danny Boyle)

22 Dec

Like Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind with immaculately shaved genitals.

3/5

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Thor: The Dark World (2013 dir. Alan Taylor)

24 Nov

Star Wars the IKEA Menace.

2/5

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Side Effects (2013 dir. Steven Soderbergh)

6 Nov

Dishonest psychology in court.

3/5

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Elysium (2013 dir. Neil Blomkamp)

27 Sep

Thatcherism in space.

3/5

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Warm Bodies (2013 dir. Jonathan Levine)

31 Aug

Music masks mediocrity.

2/5

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Olympus Has Fallen (2013 dir. Antoine Fuqua)

19 Aug

Multiple film careers kept on life-support by Die Hard rip-off.

3/5

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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013 dir. Tommy Wirkola)

18 Aug

Countless women receive face punches in Chris Brown-inspired Alpen commercial.

2/5

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Monsters University (2013 dir. Dan Scanlon)

7 Aug

Animal House remade to sell lunchboxes.

2/5

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Evil Dead (2013 dir. Fede Alvarez)

5 Aug

The visual representation of a Sunday Guardian feminism rant.

3/5

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Man of Steel (2013 dir. Zack Snyder)

4 Aug

Inspiring tale of the real-life Peter Griffin’s ascention from tier-2 school bully to reliable office drone.

3/5

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The Great Gatsby (2013 dir. Baz Luhrmann)

29 Jul

Two affluent side-partings invest resources into bagging the same lady’s fuckhole.

2/5

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Pacific Rim (2013 dir. Guillermo del Toro)

28 Jul

Three identical-looking soldiers star in the film the Power Rangers Movie could have been.

3/5

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After Earth (2013 dir. M. Night Shyamalan)

23 Jul

A father forces his son to do something he isn’t very good at; acting.

1/5

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Gangster Squad (2013 dir. Ruben Fleischer)

14 Jul

Face-punching and stomach-kicking and face-punching and shooting in Hollywoodland.

2/5

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Oz The Great And Powerful (2013 dir. Sam Raimi)

7 Jul

Irritating fraud does battle with dictators using entertainment.

2/5

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Jack The Giant Slayer (2013 dir. Bryan Singer)

5 Jul

Daily Mail subject matter does battle with Sun readers using foliage.

2/5

IMDB

The Last Stand (2013 dir. Jee-woon Kim)

15 May

Antique Austrian defends all-American town from immigrant labour.

2/5

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Iron Man Three (2013 dir. Shane Black)

5 May

The war on terror as played out in George W. Bush’s brain during the final quarter of 2001.

3/5

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