Tag Archives: French Cinema

Le Déjeuner Sur L’herbe (1959 dir. Jean Renoir)

8 Apr

The world’s greatest scientist nearly loses his mind over peasant girl’s fuckhole.

3/5

IMDB

La Bête Humaine (1938 dir. Jean Renoir)

12 Mar

High maintenance female prefers lovers who have committed violent murder.

3/5

IMDB

La Grande Illusion (1937 dir. Jean Renoir)

11 Mar

Frenchmen desperately escape their pleasant German captors simply due to a ban on light entertainment.

4/5

IMDB

Toni (1935 dir Jean Renoir)

9 Mar

Hard graft leaves non-actor lonely, poor and with severe blue balls.

3/5

IMDB

I Stand Alone (1998 dir. Gaspar Noe)

13 Sep

Miserable old sod has a go at supporting cast members behind their backs.

3/5

Diary of a Country Priest (1951 dir. Robert Bresson)

9 Sep

Sozzled clergyman winds up most of the supporting cast.

3/5

The Bride Wore Black (1968 dir. Francois Truffaut)

6 Sep

A wank over Hitchcock by French auteur results in Kill Bill blueprint.

3/5

Bed And Board (1970 dir. Francois Truffaut)

16 Aug

Copier of John Lennon’s sex life swaps one crap job for another.

2/5

The Devil, Probably (1977 dir. Robert Bresson)

24 Jul

Seal-clubbing and corduroy jackets drive a young longhair to euthanasia.

2/5

Anne And Muriel (1971 dir. Francois Truffaut)

19 Jul

After driving woman insane with his penis, French beta male fucks her sister in a barn.

2/5

The Woman Next Door (1981 dir. Francois Truffaut)

6 Jul

Devastating nose cannot repell mistress from seeking seconds from male lead.

2/5

A Gorgeous Girl Like Me (1972 dir. Francois Truffaut)

28 Jun

Discussing slut’s previous fuck partners leads to imprisonment of poindexter.

2/5

Confidentially Yours (1983 dir. Francois Truffaut)

15 Jun

Pervert breaks several employment laws to prove he did not commit shotgun attrocity.

2/5

Tell No One (2006 dir. Guillaume Canet)

7 May

Demented Dad goes to great lenghts to ensure daughter’s life remains fuck free.

3/5

A Prophet (2009 dir. Jacques Audiard)

30 Apr

Like a French Shawshank Redemption, with more arterial blood spurts and less personal shopping.

5/5

Pickpocket (1959 dir. Robert Bresson)

26 Apr

Beta male fails at robbery.

4/5

L’argent de Poche (Pocket Money) (1976 dir. Francois Truffaut)

8 Feb

Girly-haired lads bond over child abuse and tit-spotting in French Rear Window.

4/5

Détective (1985 dir. Jean-Luc Godard)

28 Dec

Training strategy of Rocky Balboa mimicked, with tennis balls and bare tits replacing meat carcasses.

2/5

Mississippi Mermaid (1969 dir. Francois Truffaut)

17 Dec

Not unlike Vertigo in colonised Africa, with cigarette manufacturing instead of police work.

4/5

The Last Metro (1980 dir. Francois Truffaut)

18 Nov

Forbidden Jew oversees play rehearsals from basement hovel whilst girlfriend gets felt up by lead thesp.

3/5

Trafic (1971 dir. Jacques Tati)

14 Oct

Badly-postured numbskull causes road chaos with crampt prototype caravan in pre-traffic light days.

3/5

The Soft Skin (1964 dir. Francois Truffaut)

1 Oct

Academic and airplane slut travel the country looking for licensed premises to fuck in.

4/5

The Story Of Adele H. (1975 dir. Francois Truffaut)

22 Sep

Desperate scribbler begs soldier for a fucking before going off the rails mentally.

2/5

Alphaville (1965 dir. Jean-Luc Godard)

28 Aug

On a far-away futuristic planet, which perfectly resembles 1960s Paris, miserable noir type shoots almost everyone he meets in the stomach.

3/5

Pierrot le Fou (1965 dir. Jean-Luc Godard)

20 Aug

Infamous French auteur antagonises fans of coherent narrative and sympathetic characters.

3/5

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