Obsession (1976 dir. Brian De Palma)

Hitchcock wankfest inspires Old Boy.

3/5

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Side Effects (2013 dir. Steven Soderbergh)

Dishonest psychology in court.

3/5

Blow Out (1981 dir. Brian De Palma)

A wank over Hitchcock and sound engineering.

3/5

Bitter Moon (1992 dir. Roman Polanski)

The tragic tale of a man with bad teeth unable to bone his young lover.

3/5

Edmond (2005 dir. Stuart Gordon)

Like a darker Falling Down, with fuckseller negotiations.

3/5

Sneakers (1992 dir. Phil Alden Robinson)

Nineties ensemble cast do Inception blueprint minus the snoozing.

3/5

Frantic (1988 dir. Roman Polanski)

Sexual Pole does Hitchcock in Paris.

3/5

Patriot Games (1992 dir. Phillip Noyce)

A man with photographic memory destroys some Irishmen.

2/5

The Net (1995 dir. Irwin Winkler)

Part melodramatic thriller, part tribute to Netscape.

2/5

Firewall (2006 dir. Richard Loncraine)

Like a toned down Die Hard with 10% of the stunt budget.

2/5

The Game (1997 dir. David Fincher)

Like a more dangerous Truman Show, with 85% of the lightbulbs removed.

3/5

The Bride Wore Black (1968 dir. Francois Truffaut)

A wank over Hitchcock by French auteur results in Kill Bill blueprint.

3/5

Jagged Edge (1985 dir. Richard Marquand)

Scribbler motivates defense lawyer by providing sex and squash sessions.

2/5

Sliver (1993 dir. Phillip Noyce)

Not unlike The Truman Show with fuck sessions and bath wanks.

2/5

Tell No One (2006 dir. Guillaume Canet)

Demented Dad goes to great lenghts to ensure daughter’s life remains fuck free.

3/5

The Grey (2012 dir. Joe Carnahan)

Like Deliverance colliding with a more horrific Doctor Doolittle.

3/5

I Saw The Devil (2010 dir. Jee-woon Kim)

Maverick cop releases serial killer several times to bolster running time.

4/5

Apt Pupil (1998 dir. Bryan Singer)

Heartwarming coming of age thriller sees unlikable teen and unlikable German bond over genocide.

2/5

Limitless (2011 dir. Neil Burger)

Like Woody Allen, minus wise-cracks, doing Fight Club.

3/5

Mississippi Mermaid (1969 dir. Francois Truffaut)

Not unlike Vertigo in colonised Africa, with cigarette manufacturing instead of police work.

4/5

Straw Dogs (2011 dir. Rod Lurie)

God-fearing AOR-obsessed working men get decimated by wealthy poindexter in banking collapse allegory.

3/5

The Juror (1996 dir. Brian Gibson)

Like 12 Angry Men, with one tedious woman and mob stereotypes.

2/5

The Man Who Knew Too Much (1956 dir. Alfred Hitchcock)

Hitchcock music man’s London gig is spoiled by non-fatal shooting in anti-Christian thriller.

4/5

One Hour Photo (2002 dir. Mark Romanek)

Hairy dispenser of funny voices gets serious over holiday snaps.

3/5

Sleepers (1996 dir. Barry Levinson)

After getting away with gun homicide, boisterous lads celebrate in style by spoiling infamous Frankie Valli pop standard with poor acapella rendition.

3/5