Tag Archives: Tom Cruise

Collateral (2004 dir. Michael Mann)

11 Oct

Taxi Driver, minus pimp genocide, goes all Rear Window in act three.

4/5

Vanilla Sky (2001 dir. Cameron Crowe)

21 Feb

Like a eutopian Matrix, with pastel colours and intercourse.

4/5

Top Gun (1986 dir. Tony Scott)

4 Oct

Shot logistics overwhelm non-existent narrative in lengthy anal sex metaphor.

2/5

Cocktail (1988 dir. Roger Donaldson)

28 Sep

Fuelled by endless rock ‘n’ roll covers, barman/fighter/poet/business schollar’s carefree life gets complicated by unplanned fetus with disguised Republican offspring.

2/5

The Colour Of Money (1986 dir. Martin Scorcese)

20 Aug

Guided by ancient potter, Christ-like retail assistant makes a mint from pretending to be shit at billiards.

3/5

The Outsiders (1983 dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

10 Jun

Despite absence of Karate Kid, oiled street toughs defeat Republican types in much-hyped fist fight.

3/5

Rain Man (1988 dir. Barry Levinson)

8 May

Archetypal 80s yuppie shithead introduces vulnerable idiot genius to gambling, skirt and maple syrup on Oscar-y road trip.

4/5

Born On The Fourth Of July (1989 dir. Oliver Stone)

30 Apr

Angry Vietnam archetypes bond over gambling, wheelchairs and tequila, after lead shouter offends mother with detailed penis monologue.

4/5

A Few Good Men (1992)

25 Mar

Amateurish military lawyer struggles to get proper baseball game started whilst defending two US army cliches in beautiful court room.

3/5

Minority Report (2002)

1 Jan

Washed-out dystopian future inspires cutting edge Xbox peripheral.

3/5

Lions For Lambs (2008)

12 Dec

Salaries of heavyweight acting titans playing chatty know-it-alls means little budget remains for action sequences.

3/5


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