Somehow we’ve managed to notch up 500 posts. Here’s a list of learnings, observations and general thoughts inspired by the last few months of bloggery.
1. In John Hughes’ world, immigration never happened.
2. According to Woody Allen, everyone has three masters degrees and seeks psychoanalysis.
3. Quentin Tarantino should have his characters shut the fuck up once in a while so he can tell a proper story.
4. A Pixar clunker is as rare as a half-decent Adam Sandler picture.
5. If Martin Scorcese was to be believed, 89% of all Italian-Americans are in some way connected to a crime family.
6. Very few horror flicks are above average. The same goes for films with Joel Schumacher at the helm.
7. In teen movies, those that exceed at sports will usually be more evil than Pol Pot and/or suffer a horrible death.
8. Star Wars is generally rubbish.
9. Annie Hall is the funniest film of all time.
10. The early 90s charts were defined by raggae, metallic pianos, bomber jackets and sadly George Michael.
11. Louis Walsh is ridiculously behind the times and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a recording ‘artist’.
12. Not wearing a tuxedo and not singing a Westlife song makes you very ‘current’ in Simon Cowell’s eyes.
13. This time next year, Cher Lloyd will be the only X Factor contestant from 2010 with any semblance of a career.
14. If you have a craving for long, deep shots, and claustrophobia, then you need to see some John Carpenter films.
15. Some job-seekers should really just give up and spend their days in bed, masturbating, rather than wasting my time by sending in terrible CVs for jobs that even in their wildest dreams they wouldn’t get an interview for. That would keep all of us happy.
16. Speaking of horror films, it seems France is the new Japan. Bring on the tamer Hollywood remakes!
17. As big a fan as I am of Ricky Gervais’ TV and stand-up work, I think I could live without another motion picture of his getting made. They just don’t work effectively.
18. There is nothing I want to happen more in the world than to see Paul Verhoeven return to Hollywood.
19. Jingle All The Way and Nightmare On Elm Street 4 are two of the worst films ever made.
20. Lightbulbs are almost always ineffective in David Fincher’s world.