The Wild One (1953 dir. László Benedek)

Bikers terrorise smalltown types with outlandish headwear.

4/5

Scum (1979 dir. Alan Clarke)

Violent cockneys seek father figures.

4/5

The African Queen (1951 dir. John Huston)

Well-toothed stars bond over naval warfare.

4/5

Religulous (2008 dir. Larry Charles)

A humerous look at two thousand years of mental illness.

4/5

The Grapes of Wrath (1940 dir. John Ford)

Poor people evoke sympathy for being poor all the time during poor times.

4/5

Rosemary’s Baby (1968 dir. Roman Polanski)

A 2+ hour long warning over the dangers of unprotected fucking.

4/5

The Sting (1973 dir. George Roy Hill)

Card shuffling to ragtime.

4/5

The Artist (2011 dir. Michel Hazanavicius)

Europeans pay tribute to dead Americans without vocal chords or widescreen.

4/5

Metropolis (1927 dir. Fritz Lang)

Early Thatcherism challenged by men silently shaking their fists.

4/5

Zodiac (2007 dir. David Fincher)

Ensemble cast seek violent scribbler in a mustard-coloured world.

4/5

A Separation (2011 dir. Asghar Farhadi)

The Iranian version of How Clean Is Your House gets complicated.

4/5

The Maltese Falcon (1941 dir. John Huston)

Smooth talkers punch faces and drive narrative whilst barely changing location.

4/5

Wreck-It Ralph (2012 dir. Rich Moore)

A gay dictator is overthrown with the help of food marketing.

4/5

The Master (2012 dir. Paul Thomas Anderson)

Foreheaded veteran of bumbling assistant parts relishes playing the alpha male for once.

4/5

La Grande Illusion (1937 dir. Jean Renoir)

Frenchmen desperately escape their pleasant German captors simply due to a ban on light entertainment.

4/5

East of Eden (1955 dir. Elia Kazan)

A family implodes over vegetables and the Bible in oldern days.

4/5

The Big Heat (1953 dir. Fritz Lang)

In dystopian post-war America, non-smilers struggle to reach intended people first time on the phone.

4/5

The Sessions (2012 dir. Ben Lewin)

Lay-about uses nostalgia to enjoy brief fuckfests.

4/5

Repulsion (1965 dir. Roman Polanksi)

Ancient photo causes unfucked lunatic to fend off fuck advances with homicide.

4/5

Django Unchained (2012 dir. Quentin Tarantino)

Chinned hero of film students replaces trademark lengthy walking scenes with lengthy horse riding scenes.

4/5

Silver Linings Playbook (2012 dir. David O. Russell)

A loving family help their son overcome mental illness using gambling and sports jerseys.

4/5

Zero Dark Thirty (2012 dir. Kathryn Bigelow)

Reuters spoils dramatic Call of Duty/Blair Witch finale.

4/5

Argo (2012 dir. Ben Affleck)

A gripping examination of the Iranian immigration control system.

4/5

Life of Pi (2012 dir. Ang Lee)

Associate of over-active necks catches some sun and tames some CGI.

4/5

Heat (1995 dir. Michael Mann)

Shouty thesp ensures quiet thesp is adequately caffeinated for ultra violent bank robbery.

4/5