Tag Archives: 1983

Videdrome (1983 dir. David Cronenberg)

27 Apr

Canada’s answer to Simon Cowell of the 80s fucks his mid-section with dated home entertainment technology.



Bad Boys (1983 dir. Rick Rosenthal)

9 Dec

Long-haired delinquent helps Jewish room mate develop lung cancer.


bad boys


Uncommon Valor (1983 dir. Ted Kothceff)

25 Jul

Like a Rambo 4 blueprint, minus squibs and disembowlments.


Confidentially Yours (1983 dir. Francois Truffaut)

15 Jun

Pervert breaks several employment laws to prove he did not commit shotgun attrocity.


Flashdance (1983 dir. Adrian Lyne)

15 May

Sweating Pepsi addict interupts dance sequences with romance.


Streamers (1983 dir. Robert Altman)

2 Jan

With the threat of war and anal sex hanging in the air, a young African American stereotype loses his mind.


Trading Places (1983 dir. John Landis)

10 Oct

Posh Ghostbuster converts from Republican to Democrat for a Christmas bet.


Wargames (1983 dir. John Badham)

9 Oct

A young Ferris Bueller prevents nuclear holocaust by playing naughts & crosses with gigantic PC.


Rumble Fish (1983 dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

19 Jul

Calm motorcycle/animal enthusiast returns to old haunt to take part in artistically-shot street brawls.


The Outsiders (1983 dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

10 Jun

Despite absence of Karate Kid, oiled street toughs defeat Republican types in much-hyped fist fight.


The Fourth Man (1983 dir. Paul Verhoeven)

20 Apr

Dutch nose spoils moment of ejaculation by speaking of Biblical figures before experiencing world’s fastest haircut and mental breakdown.


Zelig (1983 dir. Woody Allen)

18 Dec

Forest Gump blueprint features abomination instead of dimwit, and includes Billie Jean-inspired sub plot.


Christine (1983)

15 Dec

Evil street toughs regret fleeing from vintage Decepticon by running away in a perfectly straight line down the highway.


Star Wars: Episode VI – Return Of The Jedi (1983)

13 Nov

Surprisingly inept dictatorship army succumbs to the might of Wizard Of Oz extras and nature.


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