Tag Archives: Horror

Lifeforce (1985 dir. Tobe Hooper)

16 Nov

British gents seek dangerous tits.

3/5

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Deep Red (1975 dir. Dario Argento)

25 Oct

Bad plastering inflates act three.

3/5

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The Pit And The Pendulum (1991 dir. Stuart Gordon)

2 Sep

To keep Christ happy, several women are brutally tortured in possible UKIP voter’s fantasy.

2/5

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Sinister (2012 dir. Scott Derrickson)

24 Aug

Long-haired foster parent fails at You’ve Been Framed.

2/5

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Rosemary’s Baby (1968 dir. Roman Polanski)

14 Aug

A 2+ hour long warning over the dangers of unprotected fucking.

4/5

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Evil Dead (2013 dir. Fede Alvarez)

5 Aug

The visual representation of a Sunday Guardian feminism rant.

3/5

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Scanners (1981 dir. David Cronenberg)

22 Jul

Foreheads seek to increase paracetamol sales using stern looks.

2/5

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Society (1989 dir. Brian Yuzna)

15 Jul

How a Guardian reporter imagines the inner workings of the Conservative Party.

3/5

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Maniac 2012 (dir. Franck Khalfoun)

8 Jul

Like Lord of The Rings in reverse, with women’s scalps instead of jewellery.

3/5

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Poltergeist (1982 dir. Tobe Hooper)

29 Jun

Republican iconography gets overrun with dated video recording equipment.

3/5

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Hellraiser (1987 dir. Clive Barker)

10 May

A living human anatomy textbook tries to bond with sister-in-law.

3/5

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Videdrome (1983 dir. David Cronenberg)

27 Apr

Canada’s answer to Simon Cowell of the 80s fucks his mid-section with dated home entertainment technology.

3/5

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From Beyond (1986 dir. Stuart Gordon)

17 Apr

Like a far less pleasant Matrix, with neon.

3/5

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Angel Heart (1987 dir. Alan Parker)

12 Apr

Nightmare visions bring fuck session to an abrupt end.

3/5

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The Last House On The Left (1972 dir. Wes Craven)

16 Feb

The awkward moment when you start nursing the people that recently fucked and killed your only child.

1/5

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City Of The Living Dead (1980 dir. Lucio Fulci)

12 Feb

The killing of religious manager brings peace to mankind in atheist wetdream.

2/5

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Demons 2 (1986 dir. Lamberto Bava)

11 Feb

Slop-filled metaphor for how TV turns society into unthinking, violent drones.

2/5

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Demons (1985 dir. Lamberta Bava)

10 Feb

Muck-filled metaphor for the (literal) death of cinema audiences at the hands of digital media.

3/5

IMDB

The Black Cat (1981 dir. Lucio Fulci)

9 Feb

Like the Whiskers ad from hell set in a Kinks single.

2/5

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Braindead (1992 dir. Peter Jackson)

7 Feb

Ethnic retail assistant realises mummy’s boy is man of her dreams after he reduces party guests to pulped trifle.

3/5

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Broken (2006 dir. Simon Boyes)

3 Feb

Eccentric enslaves women at campsite in possible Playboy Mansion competitor start-up.

1/5

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Repulsion (1965 dir. Roman Polanksi)

26 Jan

Ancient photo causes unfucked lunatic to fend off fuck advances with homicide.

4/5

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Twixt (2011 dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

16 Jan

Like a long-haired Alan Wake, with Stephen King aspirations.

3/5

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A Serbian Film (2010 dir. Srdjan Spasojevic)

25 Oct

Shaggy Balkan give new meaning to the phrase ‘something in my eye’ after accidentally bonding with family.

2/5

Surf Nazis Must Die (1987 dir. Peter George)

8 Sep

Sunseekers object to murder and right-wing politics.

1/5

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