By Slick Nick
Stuart Baggs, recent runner-up on the hit BBC reality TV show The Apprentice, has firmly denied recent speculations that he walked into a McDonald’s restaurant and ordered an extra value meal.
The business mogul and professional bullshitter is said to have visited a Surrey outlet at approximately 11.30am on 23rd December, which would have meant the breakfast menu would have been unavailable at the time.
He said: ‘Do I look like the kind of guy that eats in McDonald’s? I’ve got businesses to run, deals to make and yo-yos to sell!’
‘I hate McDonald’s; it’s full of poor people. Plus, it’s not really the kind of food my business mind needs for nourishment.’
‘Do you think Peter Jones or Rod Stewart would be seen dead eating a Big Mac? Fuck no.’
The child, who shot to fame earlier this year as being one of the more unlikable contestants on a show which features largely unlikable business types, was severely criticised by Lord Alan Sugar for telling fibs about his business prowess.
Baggs continued: ‘I admit that me and Al didn’t see eye-to-eye on a few things, but I suppose it’s for the best that I didn’t end up working for him.’
‘For one thing, he reminds me of Sid James from the Carry On movies. I’d never be able to keep a straight face in the office.’
‘Fuck him and his cheap computers.’
Stuart Baggs’ business guide ‘How To Sell Rubbish That People Don’t Really Need Whilst Generally Being A Bit Of A Cunt’ was released in time for Christmas to largely disappointing reviews.