Tag Archives: Romance

The Vow (2012 dir. Michael Sucsy)

26 Jun

Woefully unfashionable female lockes distract from lunkhead falling for cat narrative.


Four Christmases (2008 dir. Seth Gordon)

14 Apr

Safe couple bring positives and negatives to four broken American mid-west households in December.


Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past (2009 dir. Mark Waters)

12 Apr

Dickens ideas duplicated to drive sales of cheap DVDs forward.


Failure To Launch (2006 dir. Tom Dey)

17 Nov

Accidental act of prostitution by horseface encourages douchbag to leave home.


You’ve Got Mail (1998 dir. Nora Ephron)

5 Nov

Two scribbling book-sellers get their fuck on together after financially supporting Starbucks and AOL.


The Out-of-Towners (1999 dir. Sam Weisman)

1 Nov

Middle Americans interact with lower and upper class New York types, with unamusing consequences.


The Dilema (2011 dir. Ron Howard)

28 Oct

Fatter half of fast-talking frog twin duo loses fuck partner to douche bag.


Melinder And Melinder (2004 dir. Woody Allen)

26 Oct

Alongside debuting mixed-race relationships, Jewish auteur has dinner table types invent entire narrative over main course.


Blue Valentine (2010 dir. Derek Cianfrance)

16 Oct

Young couple dislike each other, then like each other, then don’t fuck, then fuck.


Cinderella (1950 dir. Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson & Hamilton Luske)

6 Oct

Cleaner must overcome slavery and vermin with learning difficulties to achieve royal dicking.


A Midsummer Night’s Sex Comedy (1982 dir. Woody Allen)

25 Sep

A small group of chums try to fuck each other’s partners in the oldern days.


Dear John (2010 dir. Lasse Hallström)

20 Sep

Lack of antagonist, conflict and bare tits, renders lifeless romance flick entirely pointless.


You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger (2010 dir. Woody Allen)

9 Sep

Deceitful Goonie scribbler nearly loses wife to a Spaniard.


The Ugly Truth (2009 dir. Robert Luketic)

4 Sep

Douchbag teaches career woman to appear more fuckable to GP before fucking her himself.


Business Is Business (1971 dir. Paul Verhoeven)

3 Sep

Experienced fuck seller goes the extra mile for wackjob customers, and provides slapstick, in Holland.


The American President (1995 dir. Rob Reiner)

19 Aug

Pool expert wins over the hearts of the nation, including new sperm rescepticle, without ever standing still.


Before Sunset (2004 dir. Richard Linklater)

18 Aug

Nine years after a night of penetrative sex, well-mannered man and woman have a catch-up on reasonably-priced boat ride.


Date Night (2010 dir. Shawn Levy)

7 Aug

Unexpected end to night out for couple involves sometimes-amusing crime caper rather than fuck session.


The Seven Year Itch (1955 dir. Billy Wilder)

26 Jul

Idiot discovers psychological term for severe blue balls case brought on by encounter with worldclass skirt.


Before Sunrise (1995 dir. Richard Linklater)

16 Jun

Boy meets girl, boy disrupts girl’s travel plans, girl plays boy a shit song, boy pilfers wine using deception, girl gives up sex hole for boy.


Scenes From A Marriage (1973 dir. Ingmar Bergman)

15 Jun

Scandinavians, and audience, endure extremely fucking long marriage implosion.


Turkish Delight (1973 dir. Paul Verhoeven)

9 May

Borderline Dutch porn flick emits aura of Breathless, with shitting dogs, hammer-smashed craniums and additional fucking.


Hitch (2005 dir. Andy Tennant)

28 Apr

Fuck tutor makes comfortable living without marketing campaign, and includes complimentary dance-training montage for new out of shape client.


Brief Encounter (1945)

15 Feb

Miseryguts recounts interim snogfests with English 40s gent type, as Casablanca collides with the Piccadilly line.


Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)

30 Dec

College rock subject matter snuggles gently with Total Recall‘s exact opposite.


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