“Did you guys hear the one about the superstar who was too raucus for Starbucks? It goes a little something like this…”

 

Diehard fans watch him when he talks

A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987 dir. Chuck Russell)

One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest with middle American suicidals increases blood and dated effects at the expense of entertainment.

2/5

“Bitch be trippin’ making me walk down all these stairs. These heels bite like a motherfucker.”

 

Her legs do work after all

Lions For Lambs (2008)

Salaries of heavyweight acting titans playing chatty know-it-alls means little budget remains for action sequences.

3/5

“The flames are supposed to represent hell Rhianna, but you’ve not seen hell until you’ve been on the pavement outside Yates’s in Colchester town center on a Sunday morning.”

That is a look of scorn like no other

 

“I have decided not to wear clothes to symbolise the raw power of this song in a stipped-to-its-bones performance. I’m also aware that my male fans are mostly teenage boys that like titties.”

'What yo lookin' at?'

“Yep. This is a far cry from the fucking Disney Club.”

Uncle Walt would have been proud

“I love to conduct sing-songery nearly as much as I love oiled men in their pants to writhe with me.”

Just an average Saturday night for Neighbours soap star

Rushmore (1998)

Four-eyed procrastinater brings outlandish production values to theatre after tarnishing Ghostbuster’s reputation.

3/5

Carrie (1976)

Participants of vintage sports training montage suffer during psionic prom mass murder.

3/5

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985)

Nemesis of middle American REM sleep re-enacts the crucifiction using jock paraphernalia.

2/5

Do The Right Thing (1989)

Feature-length picture about recruitment-happy Italian American restauranteur is snuck onto the end of Public Enemy music vid.

4/5