Clash Of The Titans (2010)

Single white men with ponytails and/or weight issues are appeased with pointless remake.

1/5

Invictus (2009)

Funny accent prevents voiceover legend from being asked to provide voiceover.

2/5

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind (2004)

College rock subject matter snuggles gently with Total Recall‘s exact opposite.

4/5

Letters From Iwo Jima (2006)

Residents of doomed beach community bond over sunbathing and suicide.

4/5

Flags Of Our Fathers (2006)

Hispanic lightweight embarrasses war heroes on ambitious pub crawl.

4/5

Scrooged (1988)

Arsehole TV exec type patronises ethnic minorities after supernatural encounters.

3/5

Friday The 13th Part III (1982)

Curly expert in prop-based gags endures anti-semitism on camping trip in 2D.

2/5

Friday The 13th Part 2 (1981)

Teens receive machete punishment for having unprotected knobs during sex in subtle aids allegory.

2/5

Friday The 13th (1980)

Psycho and Halloween ideas duplicated as careless fucking gives rise to horror icon.

2/5

Mystic River (2003)

Child abuse and murder coax world-class performances all round.

4/5

Shadow Of A Doubt (1943)

In a picturesque, ordered suburb, man and neice battle to say own name more times than the other.

5/5

Citizen Kane (1941)

Despite talking irritatingly loud at all times, shadowy newspaper seller enjoys loyal staff members for life.

5/5